Sex-Starved Husband Keeps Spreadsheet Detailing Bedroom Woes

Some people get their thrills from watching an adult movie or leafing through the pages of an XXX magazine. But if this accountant-style spreadsheet is any indication, something as simple as the 1040A or the Price Waterhouse Cooper newsletter might reduce its author to a state of ecstatic, transported bliss.

Wow! Hey, if she said she was interested in trying “anal,” this probably isn’t the kind she meant. Yup, this husband kept a spreadsheet of all the times he asked his wife for sex, with notations specifying exactly why she declined. It appeared on Reddit and quickly went viral. Anyone else wondering if he got a notarized signature for each climax, or celebrates the end of the fiscal year like a wedding anniversary?

As various news outlets have pointed out, the italicized “yes” on the rare occasions where wifey was actually willing to engage a little of the old rumpy-pumpy only adds to the camp value of the spreadsheet. We can all picture hubby jumping into the air in delight at those rare occasions of marital assignation, as if in a vintage Toyota commercial.

The excuses run the gamut from tried and true (“I’m too tired”) to multi-tiered (“I won’t have time to get showered and ready for dinner”) to visceral ( “I feel gross”) to purely enigmatic (“non-verbal”).

Not knowing the full context, we will politely withhold judgment, but if you’re looking for adult fun with a whiff of office efficiency to the proceedings, we suggest checking out the Office category of porn movies instead.

image courtesy www.thebertshow.com